Here are 30 signs that you’re obsessed with golf:
- You use an umbrella to work on your takeaway
- When buying a carpet, you don’t care about color or material, only “Can I putt on it?”
- You can’t remember all your fiancé’s friends, but can roll-call every Masters champion
- You have an unusually strong opinion on white belts (or the interlocking grip)
- The first week of April is your favorite holiday
- You can’t explain Einstein’s theory of relativity but do know the Stableford equation
- Deem only one word an expletive: “Shank”
- Think Will Smith was robbed of an Oscar in “The Legend of Bagger Vance”
- You constantly find yourself thinking, “This would make a great par 3”
- You have some serious year-round tan lines
- You’ve got annoying grass stains on all your shorts pockets
- You’ve tried to put ball markers in vending machines
- You watch “Tin Cup” every time it’s on TV
- You know how many days it is until your next golf trip
- You’d sacrifice one of your children to play Augusta National
- Your first question when planning a vacation is “What good courses are nearby?”
- You’re that guy being chased by the course employees when it gets too dark to play
- To you, Adam Scott is a handsome golfer, not handsome actor
- You find old tees in every pair of shorts
- You tend to measure time in relation to the golf calendar
- You always have an uncanny grasp of the 10-day forecast
- You have a life-sized painting of Rich Lerner in your foyer at home.
- The screensaver on your phone is a photo of some great golf course you’ve played or visited
- When a car stops to let you cross the street, you wave to them like you’re Rory McIlroy after making a birdie at a golf tournament
- The pro you take lessons from is your emergency contact
- You name your pets after famous golf clubs
- Your Pebble Beach polo is the nicest piece of clothing in your closet
- You own both of John Daly’s country music albums
- You ask “Where were you when Tiger hit the hydrant?” the way some people ask “Where were you when Armstrong landed on the moon?”
- You refer to a successful job of parallel parking as a “green in regulation”
Source: Golf Digest